Maybe I'm Amazed

Paul McCartney

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you

She had been looking for me. Tank said she really poured her heart out to him the other night. He called me a coward. Told me I didn’t know a good thing when I saw it. Maybe he was right.

If I had stayed in Trenton after taking care business, I wouldn’t have waited for a long time out between her and Morelli…no matter what I might have said to her.

Maybe after “taking out the garbage” I would have snuck over to Morelli’s and taken her away with me. Why I didn’t, I’m not sure.

Maybe I am a coward when it comes to Stephanie Plum.

****************************************

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
And hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

I watched as she left her apartment with that new cop O’Malia. Something twisted in my gut as he helped her into his car. It didn’t get any better the entire time they were at Rossini’s.

But by the time he had brought her back home, I knew he didn’t stand a chance. I could see that she wasn’t interested. And after a fast kiss and hug, he was on his way. The tension I had been holding eased as I watched her date pull away from the apartment. I wanted to break in that night. I wanted to go to her…to be with her.

Maybe being away from her wasn’t such a good idea.

Maybe I did need her.

**************************************

Maybe I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Maybe I'm a man
and maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me understand

In the morning, the pain was back, only this time it was deeper and a whole lot worse. Morelli had shown up. He has been with her for exactly 93 minutes. Now confusion and doubt started to creep in.

When they finally left her apartment, I followed them to the station, where she was inside for over an hour. I wanted desperately to find out what she was up to, but couldn’t. It would have been around the station in two seconds if I walked through the doors.

Not understanding the situation was starting to get to me. I haven’t eaten, slept or had any kind of life since that night I told Morelli to take her home. Now it looks like she did take my advice, and went back to Morelli after all. But there was that date with the other cop. Morelli would never put up with that…unless he didn’t know.

I had to face it. I couldn’t make heads or tails out of what she was doing. But then again, I never could.

Maybe I need to visit the only person who can answer the questions.

***************************************************************

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Ever since that night, she has never once left my thoughts. It seems everything I do is in some way connected to her. Hell, every since the first day I met her, she’s been with me.

Whenever I get fitted up for a take down, I remember back to that first day helping her buy her equipment. I think about running and immediately her groans of complaint jump into my head. I can’t take a bite of any kind of food without thinking about her. She seeped into every corner of my life and now I don’t want to get her out.

Maybe what I really need is more of her.

I waited until late into the night. I had a feeling she wasn’t sleeping, so as quietly as I could, I popped her lock. I’m not even sure why I felt I needed to be so quiet. She loved it when I snuck up on her. Her thinly veiled protests didn’t fool me. I could see the excitement in her eyes when she looked at me.

Making my way across the apartment I held my breath. Coming to her this way was putting myself on the line for the ultimate decision. If she told me to go, I would. If she told me to stay…

“Babe.”